Tag Archives: learning

Insecurities are a hell of a thing.

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Coming from a long line of boy friends who have purposely worn me down to the root of them, it is very odd dating some one who doesn’t. I’m use to doing things like checking all the time, getting permission to hang out with people, seeing if what I want to do with my days off is ok. I know this is not healthy but that was the norm for me in my last 2 relation ship. So calculating it up that makes the last 6 and a half years of feeling like everything I do could mean getting yelled at or accused of something.

Why do I bring this up, you might be asking? Well I was asked to go to lunch by Mr. GC’s best friend cause he couldn’t go cause of work. I said yes because I don’t have any friends here, I was hungry, and because I want to get to know his friends better, especially his best friend. After I agreed I had a panic moment though and texted Mr. GC and told him the plan. I tried not putting it into question for, but it was a way to ask permission to go. I don’t think he took it as that and was happy we were going to hang out. That calmed my nerves alot.

In the past when ever I would hang out with boyfriends friends I was accused of liking that person. I think in my last one I was accused of wanting or sleeping with almost all of his friends, including the girls, and I never did or wanted. Red Flags, right? But I have to remind my self things are different. Things are good and he has a good head on his shoulders. I just have to adjust, baby steps cause I know this type of thinking doesn’t change over night.