The Zombie Wedding Ceremony I Put Together

Yay, I did my first, and probably only, wedding!!! It was the first time I had to write a ceremony and I think I did well for not have been at a wedding since I was 12. I wanted to share cause I am proud of myself.
Officiants Opening:
Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam. And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva.
The princess Bride had it right except for one little bit. It is not marriage that brings us together, it is the amazing, fantastic love between these two
Officiants Welcoming:
Dear friends and family, I am so happy welcome you to this celebration of true love between Amanda ~~~~ and Adam ~~~~~~. We are gathered here, not to witness the beginning of what will be, but rather what already is! We do not create this marriage, because we cannot. We can and do, however, celebrate with Amanda and Adam, the wondrous and joyful occurrence that has already taken place in their lives.
It took me a while to think of exactly what I wanted to say. I have known Amanda for about five years now. She has been one of the most genuine people I have ever met. I did not think it could be possible, but she shone even brighter once she met Adam. And then I realized why, not only is he smart and witty but he has a warm and kind heart.
I believe nothing can come between these two. I know Adam and Amanda are ready to take on life, the ups and downs. They will overcome anything life throws at them. Be it time, illness, poverty, or even a zombie apocalypse.
If you think about it, love can be like a zombie attack. It can strike suddenly, leaving its victims incoherent and hungry. But it can also, over time, feed off of you. It can make you feel distant, even numb, if not attended to. People take love for granted sometimes and just stumble around each other, shuffling through life, not taking full advantage of everything around them.
Vow never to let the other zombiefy. Instead of feeding off of each other and turning into other people, help one another grow. Share equally. Stay connected and keep the lines of communication open. Acknowledge the little things and let the other person know you appreciate them. Even if it is the 10,100th time they have opened the door for you, thank them. It means more than you know. And always, always enjoy life and a hearty laugh. Because if there is one thing I have learned from Zombie movies, it is that Zombies do not laugh.
Reading  1:”A Lovely Love Story” by Edward Monkton

The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice. Although it was cold he was happy in there. It was, after all, his cage.

Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur. The Lovely Other Dinosaur melted the Dinosaur’s cage with kind words and loving thoughts.

“I like this Dinosaur,” thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. “Although he is fierce he is also tender and he is funny. He is also quite clever, though I will not tell him this for now.”

“I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur,” thought the Dinosaur. “She is beautiful and she is different and she smells so nice. She is also a free spirit which is a quality I much admire in a dinosaur.”

“But he can be so distant and so peculiar at times,” thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. “He is also overly fond of things. Are all Dinosaurs so overly fond of things?”

“But her mind skips from here to there so quickly,” thought the Dinosaur. “She is also uncommonly keen on shopping. Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on shopping?”

“I will forgive his peculiarity and his concern for things,” thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. “For they are part of what makes him a richly charactered individual.”

“I will forgive her skipping mind and her fondness for shopping,” thought the Dinosaur. “For she fills our life with beautiful thoughts and wonderful surprises. Besides, I am not unkeen on shopping either.”

Now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are old. Look at them. Together they stand on the hill telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs.

And that, my friends, is how it is with love. Let us all be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs together. For the sun is warm. And the world is a beautiful place

Amanda and Adam have decided to write their own vows, but ask to share them in private later on.
Exchange of Rings:
Wedding rings are made precious by our wearing them. Your rings say that even in your uniqueness you have chosen to be bound together. Let these rings also be a sign that love has substance as well as soul, a present as well as a past, and that, despite its occasional sorrows, love is a circle of happiness, wonder, and delight. May these rings remind you always of the vows you have taken here today.
Repeat after me:
With this ring I thee wed,
To have and to hold
To never waste ammo
To always stick by your side and never split up,
To always cover each other, in all zombie attacks
I promise to aim for their heads, And protect your heart
To always kill the infected, no matter who they are
And most of all, I promise to chop off your head swiftly if you get bitten by one of them.
Final Blessing:
True marriage is more than joining the bonds of marriage of two persons; it is the union of two hearts. It lives on the love you give each other and never grows old, but thrives on the joy of each new day. Marriage is love. May you always be able to talk things over, to confide in each other, to laugh with each other, to enjoy life together, and to share moments of quiet and peace, when the day is done. May you be blessed with a lifetime of happiness and a home of warmth and understanding.
 So until next time we meet again, remember: appreciated,  communicate, live, love, laugh and this has nothing to do with anything, but a little sunscreen never hurt anybody.
By virtue of the authority vested in me under the laws of the state of Florida, it is my joyful responsibility to officially acknowledge your union as “Husband and Wife.” You may now kiss each other!
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my privilege to present to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Adam and Amanda B~~~~~!

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